I remember this girl in college that I really liked a lot. Let’s call her Kathleen.
I liked Kathleen so much that I kept enrolling in her class even though I didn’t really talk to her. As a matter of fact, I only talked to her once.
Her course, if I recall correctly, was International Studies. Mine was Computer Application. Huge difference, but what sent me to her class and kept sending me back was her. Always her.
She’s beautiful — my type of beauty to be perfectly honest. Her face was angelic and her smile was captivating. Somehow, her beauty kept me drawn to her. She was like a magnet; I was attracted and I liked it. I didn’t want to last a day without a glimpse of her.
Her class, however, in its entirety, was not as beautiful as her. I didn’t have any friends and nobody reached out to me, especially when there was a group activity. I was alone, sitting in one corner left to mind my own business. I was always near the door so I can sneak out of the room quickly after the lesson. (And after giving this girl one good look.)
Her classmates didn’t like “outsiders”, unfortunately, I was one. So I had to endure their aloofness just to see a girl who didn’t even know I existed. Despite that, I remained in my seat quietly, fantasizing about myself talking to Kathleen. It was like an addiction that I couldn’t resist.
And it was like that for 2 semesters, until I failed in some subjects.
The failures were a wake-up call. I asked myself: “Is it worth it?” Apparently, Kathleen did not and will not give me any positive response. She was just a fantasy, and my failures were real. Staying in her class didn’t benefit me at all. I decided to stay away.
I still saw her in the catwalk, in the canteen, and in the campus. Sometimes she was with her friends, sometimes she was alone. I don’t recall a specific time when my eyes met hers. Because it was more of me looking at her, than she looking at me.
Fortunately, I got over her and never enrolled in her class again. I realized what a fool I was for letting myself get hooked by her beauty, thus, hurting my college records.
There was a reason I was in school: to learn and eventually to get ready for work. Obviously, I wasn’t fulfilling my purpose.
Consciously diverting my attention to my purpose, I enrolled in classes where I knew I have friends who could help me out in case of academic hardships. This strategy was perfect. Everything was easier for me. I also enrolled in Summer classes to catch up. I graduated College, had a job, and lived a life. All because I learned to let go of a fruitless fantasy and served my true purpose.
In case you’re wondering, I’ve never heard anything about Kathleen since, but I spotted her one time while I was watching TV: she was in the commercial. That was before I got my first job as a programmer almost 10 years ago. I chuckled the first time I saw it, but I wasn’t really surprised — she was truly a model-material (One thing I learned from my fantasy is that, I had a good taste!)
The point is, there is nothing wrong with fantasies. But putting it on top your priorities to the point of hurting your objectives in life is another story. Don’t make the same mistake I did by prolonging it and wasting your time getting nothing in return. Let go of it and serve your purpose.
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Hi Saedel,
This post reminds me of this early 80’s MTV song, particularly your last part where you saw her on TV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx6t11D99tA
Good post. Unfortunately, some of us - like myself - are slow learners. It took me many years to finally drop my “fantasy world life” and adapt to full reality. I won’t go into details here, unimportant little things they are, but since I made that move, my life has been much, much easier to cope with.
@Frank
I wish she was in the centerfold, too, but she’s not that type. She was on the demure side, as far as I know. 
Haha!
@Jeni
Thanks! “Kathleen” was a year-long issue for me. (3 semesters in the Philippines = 1 year). I guess some fantasies are like that. Am glad you overcame yours.
I don’t recall any fantasies I am far too practical.
Fantasies… oh year.. it cause my a summer class at National University, its really hard to overcome it during our teen years, especially when you hear some songs that remind you of her. What can I say? C’est la vie!
Whew! Ol’ Kathleen did a number on you bro!
I think it is safe to say that I have experienced life’s Kathleen before. My Kathleen was a business enterprise that kept me away from those that I loved most. My way of getting rid of Kathleen was to dissolve my enterprise and refocus my energies. All is well. I am still able to have a little “affair” with Kathleen [I have a virtual business now], but hey, she is no longer causing problems in my life. LOL!
This was a great post!
Good morning!
Thanks for sharing your insight, gained through a difficult life lesson. I think its safe to say that we’ve all “been there, done that” in different ways which is what makes your post so powerful. We can relate!
Thanks for participating in The Seventh Day: Fifth Edition. The Carnival is now live at On the Horizon and there are many other wonderful posts included. I hope you will stop by and check them out! I also invite you to participate in the Carnival again — you can submit one post on any topic per blog from the prior week at any time up to 6:00 p.m. (Pacific time) each Saturday to be included in the next day’s edition!
Blessings to you on this beautiful Sunday!
I love fantasies when I was in High School. But like yours, I realized that there are a lot of things that I should prioritized. thank’s for sharing this to us.
Hey saedel, where have all the new posts gone? It is genious like these that make me miss the updating.
I don’t recall any fantasies I am far too practic
thank u for ur lovly subject
i like fantasies
nd always remember my own
yeah sometimes you waste more than enough into fantasies that your precious time pass you by and you left into them with nothing in hand. so sometimes a man should get out of fantasies and think real. i am not saying fantasies are bad because they give you power to go for the best and some times inspiration to achieve good things.
Would it have hurt to at least start a conversation with her and see if she might have been interested? What is there to be afraid of? The worst she could have said is no. Sometimes you would be surprised at how a little confidence can go a long way…
Fantasies will get you every time. Good for you for getting a grip before it was too late. poliSci classes especially upper level classes are notorious for clicks. Great post.
sometimes, a fantasy is just a fantasy until you realize it was all just like that.
in a snap, we wake up to a real world, but the question is this, are you satisfied with it?
we all live in 2 worlds or more. we all have fantasies or desires but the thing is are you happy……….
i love to fantasy
I love fantasies too, but anyway i like your stories, kind of me too
Or is the fantasy actually reality and what you think of as real just your imagination?
The mind is a complex thing and who’s to say?
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Hey saedel, where have all the new posts gone? It is genious like these that make me miss the updating.
good post! i love fantasy.
thank you
Great story like always.Almost every our post is very interestin dude
Again, excellent post. Love it! Pity you don’t post on here any more. This has really made me think about my life, and I hope to make some significant changes… Thank you
Nice story! It’s really good story and some thing learn to this story.
Thank you for your honesty. As teenagers or young adults, we all have fantasies, dreams I believe. Even older. Not long ago I fantasized of being a professional poker player, but gave up later.
What makes us humans is the ability to dream, this is how great things happen. Or it can be catalyzed into sexual dreams too. This is normal at a certain age, but then dreams may metamorphosis into non sexual aspirations as we grow older.
I also had my girls in class, who never knew I existed…
Well the title was too catchy that I have read your story all throughtout….. I never thought that fantasy could eventually lead to some sort of destruction…. Destruction, too morbid for a word…. Anyway, same with you, I also have fantasies but then I use them to inspire myself…. I know they are fantasies and can never be real that’s what I’ve always kept in mind…. Know what’s important is that when you fantasize, never take it seriously use it as a tool to improve yourself and help you to become a better person…… Its sometimes nice to fantasize…. quite sure of that….
I think that everybody at one point has done something like that. For me, it was sometimes the ones that I was truly captivated with (in terms of beauty, not personality) that I never got to speak to. Sometimes I wish I can turn back time as the older you get the more you look back and say to yourself that you would’ve of acted differently.
super
nice
ya, this story is very nice and interesting , Actually this story taken me to my past life
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Good
I think I was too shy when I was young; I should have approached all those girls in my class.
Obama
My problem has always been girls fantasizing about me. If I wasn’t interested in them, but gave them any sort of acknowledgment, they’d nearly destroy themselves, thinking I liked them. So, I learned to be cold right up front if I wasn’t interested, saving them a ton of grief.
However, a few times I’ve been led on to think some girl (who I really liked) was interested in me. They’d flirt with me and assure me a welcome invitation. Unfortunately, they did it just for attention, telling me about their boyfriend when I’d finally open my heart up to them.
So, in this particular case, my own fantasy was cultivated and used against me. Or was I just imagining it?