Tom was nearly crying. The simple math problems glaring at him was killing him. He was on his seat looking around half-expecting his classmates to offer him some help. But they were too busy doing their own; some of them knew what to do, some still ‘getting it’. Clearly, Tom was having a tough time.
“Mr. P?” he softly called me. “I can’t do it…” He was pleading for help - more like scared to try and fail.
I was beginning to feel irritated. I explained the lesson three times already, the last one, just ten seconds ago. But, I remained calm, fighting the negativity that clouded my mind. I glanced at his paper, still unanswered.
“It looks hard…” he said, and looked back at his paper, giving me the impression that he’s staring at strange numerical questions.
A teacher shouldn’t help a student during a short quiz. So I firmly said, “Tom, just solve the questions.”
Knowing he won’t be able to squeeze out anything from me, I saw his lips trembled, and I knew if he uttered one more word, those tears will begin to fall.
That’s the last thing I wanted to see, as it will bother the rest of the class. So I told him, “Tom, I know you can do it. I believe you can. ” Believe. I had spoken the word and I sincerely meant it. Being their teacher for the past couple of years, I know Tom has untapped potentials. Tom was participative during our class discussions — enthusiastically shooting his hand in the air when I asked questions, yet, when it was time to be alone in an island he’s afraid to swim to the ocean. I figured, he just needed to be inspired.
“Don’t be scared.” I continued. “You’ll never know how easy or hard it is until you try.”
Somehow, I knew and felt that my words moved him. It motivated him. The trembling of his lips stopped and his tears became sparkles. I saw a rejuvenated spirit in him. He went back to his paper and started answering.
When I checked their work, Tom got 4 correct answers out of 5 questions. Not bad. Tom’s smile was - like what the commercial said - PRICELESS.
You see, Tom for once has opened his closed mind to something big. And, as one of his teachers, I just wish this becomes his habit.
How about you, do you see the hesitant Tom in you?
Do you stay in a dead end job and say, “Oh, I can’t quit, it’s hard for me to look for another job.”
Or when someone is teaching you new stuff about technology, do you hear yourself saying, “You know, I can’t do it. I’m really not a computer person.”
Or when someone has invited you to dance, do you shy away and say, “I’m sorry, I can’t dance.”
Or do you think the girl of your dreams is way out of your league? Maybe not, if you stop thinking you can’t ask her out.
Think about it. How much often are you going to say I can’t, when it is so obvious that you can? I can’t is a depressing washed-up front for I don’t.
The important lesson here is: if you try, you have a shot at winning something; If you don’t, you will lose everything you hoped for. As the old sports adage says: “You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
Do you agree? If so, then it’s time to just do it.
Popularity: 11% [?]
Email This Post
Print This Post
Good post. I have always felt it is better to try than not try at all, better to make a decision, and it be the wrong one, than dance about on the side lines of life.
Although I can really relate to Tom, I found math a very difficult subject in school, but I did not have a teacher like that, generally I was punished for “not listening”, when I really wanted to succeed. I learned more math while homeschooling my 3 sons, I learned the lesson the evening before. They all graduated in Math so I guess I did too.
Very well stated theory about creating your own success in life. Too often we allow our fears of trying to keep us stagnant.
But if you don’t try, you’ll never be disappointed. I’d rather fail something knowing I could have tried harder and maybe succeeded than fail something knowing that I could never do any better.
I agree with the force of believing. Life facts proves it.
But also, one has to be wise in the way scarce time is spent, and our scarce capacity of processing perception and experiences
But there are some people who don’t try hard enough and afterwards you gonna hear them say: “At least they tried.”
“At least I tried” stuff is somehow an excuse for their failure. As for my fave Pat Benatar song, always “Hit Your Best Shot!”
I agree with you. Sometimes, just getting started on something you don’t want to do can make the difference. It usually is not as bad as you think it will be.
People don’t try because of the fear of failure looms large over their head. I remember, in my school days, that I am a very quiet person. I was not used to be an interactive person, for the simple fear that I might answer wrongly. Don’t be mistaken that I was a poor student. No, I used to be in the top cream of the class. But, still I would not speak out unless otherwise I felt perfectly right.
This behaviour was, in a way, partly due to some of my teachers. These teachers used to make fun when someone answers wrongly. I could still recall one incident where I said 0 divide by 0 is one and was humiliated in front of the class. Its about 20 years already, but still I cannot forget that.
Later when I had a chance to be a lecturer, for a short stint, I made it a point not to make fun of students in front of the entire class. I used to tell positive things in the classroom and negative things in private.
Great post! While I read only posts related to blogging mostly, this attracted me. Thanks.
So true! Apt and hard hitting… Its often that we are too quick in underestimating ourselves. We give a look to the problem at hand and recklessly follow the attitude of “lose-it-even-before-I-took-it”. Many of my friends are like Tom. They give a look to it, a cold hard stare, a million negative things going in his head and then throwing up his hand and say, Man, does it look hard!
I believe in the rule: If there is a problem there must be a solution(mathematical/spiritual/practical)… so if there is a solution whats stopping me?
What do you think?
@Manick
Reading your comment, I saw myself in you when I was still in school. I was introverted, and preferred to be alone. When there were group projects, I wasn’t always the leader because I wasn’t vocal enough. Thanks for sharing and for the kind words.
@Soham
You are absolutely correct. I agree that all problems have solutions, as I am an advocate of this saying: “You will not be given a problem you can not solve.” However, some people sell themselves short, and lose confidence when they see people who they believe are better and more capable than they are. And sometimes I’m guilty of that, too.